I need to start this by saying that I fucking love my job. I work in fashion. My boss is one of my closest friends. I don’t have to get up early. In fact, we just celebrated our 3rd anniversary last month! But not all of my jobs and coworkers have been awesome.
Let’s face it. Not all of us are lucky enough to work at a company where everyone is fucking awesome and loves each other. There’s a good chance that you’ll be stuck with one or two coworkers who really suck once in a while. Instead of stewing in your hate, or getting in trouble with HR for calling them a twat, pick a couple things from this list to keep you occupied:
Play a drinking game.
Ok, so I’m not telling you to get drunk at work. That’s a great way to get fired. Grab your non-alcoholic beverage of choice and take a drink every time they whine. Take 2 drinks every time they look at you the wrong way. Chug your drink every time they say something stupid. You’ll be entertained, and you’ll get to take more bathroom breaks, which will mean less time spent with them.
Tune them out.
If you’re lucky enough to work somewhere that lets you wear headphones, put on your Beats and blast some Taylor Swift. If you can’t get away with that, sing your favorite songs in your head. Better yet, sing out loud and annoy your coworkers before they can annoy you!
Show them up.
When I was in college, I worked as a receptionist. One of the other receptionists, let’s call her Becky, was horrible. Seriously, she was a textbook bitch. She was loud and obnoxious. She started rumors. She tried to get another girl fired. She once said, “I run this bitch, and I’ll keep running it” in front of clients. And I was lucky enough to work with her 2 days a week. I wanted to die.
It’s easy to let awful people screw up your productivity, but success is the best revenge. Instead of letting her bring down my vibe, I got my calls done in record time, sold more memberships, and spent the time between clients cleaning the clinic from floor to ceiling. Whatever you do, make sure Becky doesn’t get credit for the extra work you did. When your boss praises you for being fucking awesome, smile smugly at Becky and silently thank her for inspiring you.
Incentives
Being nice to shitty people is hard, but knowing that you’ll get presents for your good behavior makes it a little easier. Has a cute dress or awesome set of makeup brushes caught your eye? Put them in your shopping cart. If you make it through the day without punching anyone in the face, place that order! Yes, you’ll have to wait for your reward, but it’ll be like a present when it shows up at your door!
Treat Yo Self
Waiting kinda sucks, so you probably want some instant gratification, too. If you know that you’re scheduled with the douchebag ahead of time, buy a bottle of your favorite wine (or vodka) before your shift. If you don’t find out until you get to work, plan on stopping by the liquor store on your way home. Either way, you’ll have something to dull the pain after work.
Can’t afford to have a hangover the next day? Take yourself to your favorite restaurant, or order in! Pick up a bath bomb and chill in the tub. Binge watch your favorite show for a couple (or many) hours. Or, if you really want to treat yourself, do all of the above! You deserve it!
No matter what you, never let a single person ruin your day. You are in charge of your own happiness. Do what you need to do to stay sane, so you don’t punch a bitch in the face and get fired.
What’s your favorite way to deal with awful coworkers?